a different kind of custody battle: who gets the embryos in a divorce?

Petri dish, meet embryos. Photo: Source.

A little over 2 years ago, in January of 2010, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. While the gynecological oncologist wanted to perform surgery right away, my immediate instinct was not to save myself, but to save my future kids. Fertility preservation, a term I'd never heard of until then, came into our lives. Fertility preservation is used mainly by cancer patients who, when faced chemo or another issue that will limit their fertility, freeze their sperm or eggs for future use.

Thankfully, through modern technology and low interest rates on three loans, IVF worked out as an option for us. I put off the hysterectomy two and half months in order to go though the IVF regimen of pokes and prods, drugs and intravaginal ultrasounds. Rather than just freeze my eggs, we decided to fertilize them with my husband's sperm. We ended up with 6 viable embryos, or kidscicles as I like to call them.

hysterectomy and cancer: a look back 2 years later

Photo: Michelle Zive.

Two years ago at right this very moment, the Big HMO gynecological oncologist was performing a full hysterectomy on me. I was 34 years young, and up until the second I went under, I thought hysterectomies only happened to old(er) women. Surely not to young women, ones who haven't had the chance to bear their own children yet.

A lot has happened in the past two years, and I learned so much about myself, and the life I want to live.

There are a lot of women like me out there going through this, too

But we don't talk about it, because it supposedly only happens to older women. Which is why this site exists and includes guest posts from people going through cancer battles. We absolutely should be talking about these things, and not just cancer, but miscarriages, fertility struggles, and other issues that are historically taboo. By talking about them, whether online or in person, we remove the stigma and create a system of support for each other.

new eff cancer tees available (a g-rated version, too!)

They're back! After a long hiatus and issues with Cafe Press (still never got my commission...but whatever...), you can now buy your "F*ck cancer" shirts once again.

I received feedback from friends who are mommies who wanted to support the cause but apparently can't run around wearing the word "f*ck" across their breasts all day.

So I thought about it and came up with the "Fuzzy caterpillar" concept. (My scar from the most recent cancer looked like a fuzzy caterpillar, and the first two letters of each word, f and c, correspond nicely with "F*ck cancer.")

So you're supporting the cause and spreading the word - when someone asks, "What's fuzzy caterpillar mean?" you can tell them!