|Fabulous Las Vegas, indeed. Photo: The Daily Green.|
"Hi Kara. It's Dr. Derma."
...Cut to one week earlier, when I was sitting in his office getting a mole removed from my foot. It had begun to change a little, get darker...back to tonight's conversation:
Me: "Oh cool, you're calling instead of emailing so it must be good news."
Dr. Derma: "No. Blah blah cancer is back blah malignant melanoma blah."
Me: "SHUT THE FUCK UP. Again?! Son of a bitch."
Dr. Derma: "I thought that's what you might say."
Me: "Okay. so what do we do. You gotta admit, it's pretty cool to bookend 2010 with cancer on both sides of the year though, right?"
Him: "Love your attitude. Basically, it should be about an hour surgery. Doctor speak doctor speak blah blah blah."
It's pretty comical at this point, what with it being the third time and all.* No, really. Three times? That's some funny shit. At least I'm consistent: with all three cancers, we caught it early. (Okay, taking a moment to acknowledge the utter fucked-up-ness of the phrase "all three cancers.")
Meh. So...next steps. They cut it out. We stage it. If need be, we fight it.
I suppose it's a nice way to bookend the year...cancer on both ends, right? Leave it to my semi-OCD tendencies to appreciate that kind of balance. ;)
My favorite comment so far was from a friend who I chatted with earlier this evening: "Did you grow up next to the power plant? Seriously: what the FUCK?"
As with earlier this year, I'm planning on fighting this with wildly inappropriate humor and gales of laughter. Feel free to join in -- the more, the merrier.
Oh, and the best part of this announcement? It came as I sat in our suite at the Bellagio in Las Vegas (upgrade FTW!). After we lost our second surrogate, Dr. Hope suggested we take a break for awhile and take a little trip. So here we are, under doctor's orders to get away from it all for a few days, and "it" follows us. IT Geek as we head to bed: "There's gotta be some irony that we took a trip to get away from thinking about stuff..."
The lesson for you fine folks? Pay attention to your moles. Both times I got malignant melanoma, I caught it early because I noticed moles that went from a light brown, normal shape to a dark color. Read up on skin cancer over at the Mayo Clinic. And check your damn moles.
* First time: malignant melanoma in 1999. Second time: uterine cancer 2010.